Attitude of Gratitude
Gratitude turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos into order, confusion into clarity - Melody Beattie
Science-Based Wellness Practices
For those of you reading who know me or have worked with me personally, you will know that I am no airy fairy hippy. I back science-based wellness practices that have shown to have physiological benefits, or have rich qualitative data from participants in an empirical setting. All of the topics and practices I talk to, or encourage in my clients are well-researched, tried and tested to bring about positive benefits that will help them to live their best life and perform at the top of their game in their chosen sports. With this knowledge, I implore even the most sceptical of you to consider my content with an open heart and an open mind - what is the worst that could happen? Have a gander at what I have to offer you, and give the gratitude meditation practice a go!
“Grandma Science”
I like to explore how others teach and practice wellness exercises, and my favourite explanation of Gratitude as therapy comes from meditation coach and writer Tamara Lechner. Lechner wrote ‘some of the best science around is Grandma science’. I for one certainly recall my Gran telling me to be thankful for what I have, and to count my blessings. It’s pretty cool that neuroscientists studying the effects of gratitude is proving that Gran was right - gratitude is good for you!
What is gratitude?
More than simply saying thank you, to me gratitude is being humble; knowing what you have and being thankful for it. Gratitude is focusing on all of the positive people, opportunities, places and things in your life, and not worrying about what you don’t have. It’s taking a moment each day to purposefully reflect on these things, and express gratitude for them, thankfulness. If you are purposefully looking for the positives in each day, ready to express gratitude, you are more likely to find them and the subsequent warm and happy feelings that go with that. You will begin to live a happier life.
Neurons that fire together, wire together (Hebb’s Law)
Let’s break down the science of the effects that consciously practicing gratitude has on your brain. Researchers have found that it can reprogram your prefrontal cortex - the area of your brain associated with decision-making, learning and memory. Hebb’s law says that neurons that fire together, wire together, meaning that the more you practice gratitude, the more you strengthen the brain’s neural circuits for it, making it easier to access. Furthermore, gratitude is linked to our happy hormones of serotonin and dopamine. A surge in dopamine gives us that natural high, and serotonin stabilises our mood and makes us feel more relaxed. So - it’s nice to give thanks, on a biological level. It’s also nice to receive thanks, so it’s a win-win.
How Can I Express Gratitude?
Well, I’m sure that depends on what you are expressing gratitude for.
Gratitude letter
If you wish to express your thanks to an amazing mentor, grandparent, friend or other influential person in your life, why not write them a letter. Tell them that you are grateful for them, and why? What effect have they had on your life, and how have they made you feel? You could send it to them, or even better read it aloud to them in person (or on FaceTime - thanks COVID).
Gratitude journal
This is my favourite way to express gratitude. Each day, at a time of your choosing (morning and evening both have their respective benefits for practicing gratitude), write down all of the things you are grateful for that day. If you make this part of your morning routine, you are bringing those good feelings in right at the start of the day and studies have found can increase energy, elevate mood and set you up for success for the day. Alternatively, you could work it in before bed, as research tells us that practicing gratitude just before we retire can increase the quality of our sleep - which we know is the most important aspect of recovery ( a hint to my athletes here). Make it the first thing you do when you get to work or school, or when you detect a hint of anxiety. Do it whenever it works for you - even if you don’t always feel like you’re grateful for something at the time. I was chatting to my good friend Joanna the other day (the most brilliant, mental, driven woman you will ever meet), and she told me “I love a gratitude journal. My favourite was having a really shite day and wanting to write NOTHING IT WAS ALL SHIT. But those were the days that I would be grateful for family, having a job, being able-bodied, in a country that I love”.
“What Went Well” Sessions
This one is a particular favourite for group situations, especially sports teams. As a rugby union coach back in the day (am I old enough to use the phrase ‘back in the day’?) I would get the players together and ask “what went well?”. I would always start with this regardless if we got the W or we got smashed, or after ‘one of those’ training sessions where no one seemed to be able to catch the ball or make a tackle, or a textbook perfect practice. The players would offer their positives and keep the culture lit. Yes, there were things we needed to work on, pull apart and train hard to rectify - but that doesn’t mean we should dwell on everything that went wrong (especially if it’s something we all know how to do and it was an off-day). I used to say to my teammates “we all know when we’ve fucked up - don’t need someone else to tell us and make us feel worse”. Next job.
Gratitude Meditation
If I can convince my mother to participate in and enjoy a meditation practice, I can convince you. Gratitude meditation, as the name might give away, is a practice where we express gratitude for the things in our lives. As you begin, you might just start by expressing gratitude for all of the good things, but as you get more comfortable and more skilled at seeking things to be grateful for, you will learn to express gratitude for everything in your life. There are some things that happen to us which initially seem bad, but upon reflection you are able to identify opportunities to learn and grow. Part of gratitude is recognising these blessings. We don’t have to sit in a dark room, with sounds of the ocean playing and incense sticks smoking to do a gratitude meditation - you can do it while you wait for your toast to pop, or those sacred few moments sitting alone in your car in the driveway before you go into the house.
When we no longer take life for granted, we become grateful for everything that we have.
Have a go at the below guided gratitude meditation practice to get you started. It’s only 5 minutes long. If it doesn’t fit with you, do it on your own and think about other things that you are grateful for.
Be kind to each other - Kirst